Tammie Smith, who covers medicine here at The Times-Dispatch, knows everything one can possibly absorb about loathsome diseases, complicated HMOs and arcane Medicaid rules.

But Tammie is a desert of knowledge when it comes to the timely issue of sports teams named after clothes.

You don't have to know baseball to understand that Tammie is on to something here: These teams have two of the dumbest names in sports.

The Astros, of course, were named after the Jetsons' dog, and we all know what a dog will do with a pair of old socks.

The Richmond Bow Ties, West End Suits, Cape Charles Capes, Norfolk Docksiders, Virginia Beach Bikinis and the Short Pumps?

Why not the Bumpass Boxers, Caroline Clodhoppers, Thornburg Thongs and Yorktown Tricorns?

Or the Bermuda Shorts, Jacksonville Jocks, Chicago Windbreakers, Oxford Shirts, and the New Jerseys?

Why not (from colleague Mike Williams) the Tennessee Tuxedoes, Windsor Knots, Mechanicsville Coveralls, Cumberland Cummerbunds, London Fogs and Kentucky Derbies?

So how did the White Sox and Red Sox get their names?

A helpful Web site -- if it's on the Internet, it has to be true says the Red Sox were so named "because of their red stockings."

Another site says the White Sox name came from a cross-town rival called the Chicago White Stockings, whose name came from their long white stockings.

Do we see a pattern here? A lack of creativity? If the Red Sox and White Sox are truly cursed, as many believe, it's for their inability to think outside the sox.

Of course, there is one piece of sports clothing that never wears thin: the Yankee pinstripes.

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